Mama's Starting Over

2010 is slowly dropping away and I couldn't be more happy.  My door is open and I am ushering it out because it was a pretty shitty year.   It has taken me about 6 months to realize that I can't get through this divorce alone.  I need some help in dealing with my feelings.  I went back to therapy and holy cow after one session I feel better.  I have been told before that I do a great job of beating myself up but I didn't realize just how good at it I have become. Apparently when someone withholds sex and intimacy from you for 5+ years, it is a form of abuse.  That is exactly how I feel.  I have little self esteem because the person I love most hurt me in the deepest way possible.  He fucked with my self confidence and who I am at my core.  I don't see myself as beautiful or worthy.  I am truly a shell of who I used to be.  The best part of being at the bottom is that there is no where to go but up. Of course, I have respo...

I can't wait for Christmas to be over. This is mainly because I have no plans. No where to go, no family to hang with. LG and I will be together Christmas Eve morning and Christmas afternoon but I am so sad that she won't be waking me up on Christmas Day. Such is the life of a single mom I guess. I am excited for the presents Ashley is going to get because I am sure she will love them this year. Honestly though, I just want the holidays to be over and done with. I have been crying a whole lot more than normal. Hurry up 2011!!!

SWAGG is a free mobile app (download here) that lets you shop smarter using your mobile phone. Buy, send or swap SWAGG GIFTS and organize your old school plastic gift cards. For every download of the app between now and Dec. 31, 2010, SWAGG will donate $1 to Stand Up To Cancer (SU2C) , up to $125,000. Clever Girls Collective and SWAGG are sending a pair of movie fans to the Sundance Film Festival! Download the SWAGG app and then visit the Ultimate SWAGG Getaway Sweepstakes site to enter to win a trip for two to the Sundance Film Festival. Entry deadline is January 3, 2011, 11:59pm, PST. What is the best gift you have ever given?  I actually didn't have to think very hard for this one!  When LG was 2 we gave her a play kitchen.  I am not sure she would say it is the best gift she has ever received but it is my favorite for several reasons. First, I spent HOURS with one of my brother in laws putting the kitchen together.  We didn't start assembling the kitchen...

That's right people, I am a full time working girl!!!!!  I landed a job just about 2 weeks ago.  If I told you the story you wouldn't believe me.  Just know that it is the PERFECT job for me.  It is also the PERFECT situation being that my boss is totally supportive of my single parenthood and allows my schedule to be very flexible.  To say that I feel blessed is an understatement. Of course, having this new schedule has thrown everyone for a loop.  LG is in extended care after school 2 days a week.  My mother in law is taking her 3 days a week after school.  In the after school care arena we are doing awesome.  LG loves being in extended and, of course, loves hanging with her Vove.  I couldn't be happier. Everything else has gone to pot.  The morning runs pretty smoothly because I don't have to leave any earlier than I used to.  I drop LG off at school and then head into the office.  The problem is that b...