Mama's Starting Over

Trying to find a job is more difficult than I expected.  Not having been in the workforce for 5 years is a pretty big ding for employers.  It is sad because even though I have great skills the fact that I haven't been actually working (other than my freelance stuff, etc.) is making it tough.  Sigh..... I just keep plugging away at it.  There are some teaching jobs available so I am applying for those but so will hundreds of other teachers that are being laid off.  At this point, I need to broaden the scope of what I am looking for.  I am willing though because not only do I need the money, I need the people. I am lonely.  Friends are choosing sides or are just silently slipping away so that no sides have to be chosen.  The sad part is that my family isn't here.  They aren't here to hug me and tell me that I am going to be ok.  I know that eventually I will be ok but right now it doesn't feel like it.  Just when I am at my lowest...

I am not really good about posting because I feel like such a downer.  I am having a really hard time.  I miss my friends.  I feel like some of them have turned their backs on me.  This probably isn't the case, they have lives and kids, etc. but it just feel sometimes like sides have been chosen, or people are afraid it will look like they are choosing sides. I started this post a few days ago.  I had to walk away from it and do some thinking.  I realize now that I have shut out some of my friends, it hasn't all been the reverse.  In fact, I have probably been the one to shut down and haven't even realized it. This is gonna be long because who knows when the words will flow again.... I am barely keeping my head above water.  Job searching SUCKS.  There is nothing out there teaching wise so I am having to explore other options in which I don't have as much experience or it has been a LONG time since I worked in that arena.  It will ...